How to Build a Soul

Step Ten: Confess your sin

2010-03-09T22:03:00.001-08:00

If you're like me (and in a lot of respects, you probably aren't) then you aren't perfect. Occasionally you will intentionally disobey God, rebelling against His authority. This action is called "sin" in the Bible. The purpose of this post is short (and ultimately, sweet) - and that is to encourage you to confess your sin to another person, not just God. James 5:16 instructs us to do this, but we often forgo it. We do this because we don't want to feel ashamed, we want to keep up appearances, we want to keep relationships intact. The problem is - we need to feel some shame, we can't appear to be good (because we aren't) and hiding our sin destroys relationships. (If you have a secret, do you want the person you're hiding it from coming close to you? [No, you don't.])

If you have done something that you know offends God, even if it doesn't necesarrily do damage to anyone else that you know of - find someone safe to confess that to, and ask for prayer. You don't need to broadcast it or make it your facebook status - just make sure that it's out in the open. If you don't confess, you'll find that thing you did one time invades your mind, and becomes something you think about doing more - then you'll find that you ARE doing more of it - and THEN you'll find that an action has become a habit. God assures us that he will forgive our sin if we confess and trust in Jesus - do those things, then go, and sin no more.

Step Nine: Read the Bible (in the morning)

2010-01-25T07:02:00.001-08:00

Reading the Bible is the obvious point - there's plenty of reasons why a healthy soul needs the Word of God. Since this blog is about what's been helpful for me, I don't have any reservations about saying that it's better to read scripture in the morning.

For me (and I bet for everyone) taking a piece of your morning and letting God shape it through His Word is the best way to devote your whole day to Him. There is actually some Biblical precedent for this as well. Mark 1:35 describes Jesus going to pray "early in the morning while it was still dark." If you're sitting there complaining that you already get up early, blah, blah, blah just remember that Jesus is better than you at everything. (Just kidding, but...he is). The Psalmist likes the morning hours as well: In the morning, O LORD, you hear my voice; in the morning I lay my requests before you and wait in expectation. (5:3).

I think the morning is better because of the concept of first fruits. Under the sacrificial system the covenant people of God were required to sacrifice the best of what they had as an offering. They were also to give the first of what they had. The morning represents the first of our most precious commodity: time. Additionally, we are easily distracted and email/tv/chores/life are all vying to step in and rob us of our intention to read the Word. So...it's not sinful to have a quiet time in the evening, but it might be less beneficial. If you've never seriously endeavoured to spend time in the Word as the first part of your day I encourage you to try it for a week or so and see if it offsets that extra 15-20 minutes of sleep you might have otherwise gotten.

Step Eight: Question your motivation for action

2009-12-22T22:47:00.000-08:00

What did I tell you? (We don't know, what?) I told you after I finished with the semester I would post more regularly! (This is one post, Steve.) Don't patronize me, reader! (In fairness, there are seven of us...)

I am in Roanoke, VA for part of the holidays (which means something between "November and December" and "Christmas Eve to New Year's day" depending on who you ask) staying at my parents house. Every year my mom makes a delicious party mix that has become the stuff of legend. It isn't anything fancy, but it hits the spot and I look forward to it whenever I'm here for Christmas.

Yesterday I was stuffing my face in the kitchen and I dropped a cheerio (my third favorite of five components in the mix) on the floor. Were the fallen morsel a Rice Chex my gut reaction might have been to pick it up, blow on it and eat it. The cheerio elicited a ho-hum reaction however, and my instinct was to kick it under the dishwasher.

At this point you have been confronted with my overwhelming laziness. Just as I pulled my leg back to kick I thought "is bending over and throwing it away THAT much harder?" Of course the answer was "no." It startled me to realize that my instinctual reaction was born completely of laziness. And that laziness is born completely of selfishness. I was not considering my parents who have to deal with the potential pitfalls of discarded food (pests) in any way. Nor did I consider God, who surely would have included some anti-Chex mix kicking proviso if the Bible were penned today. I decided that wasn't the type of person I really wanted to be and picked up the cheerio.

This simple act - pausing to consider why we are about to do something - can really transform a soul if done with discipline and intentionality over time. I will write in more detail about this concept later, but soulishly we reap what we sow. If we sow selfishness we reap laziness and ultimately destruction. If we sow concern we reap deeper relationships. If we sow spiritual discipline we reap spiritual depth. Try not to leave your brain (or soul!) on autopilot over the holidays...or ever.

Maybe THIS TIME I mean it...

2009-12-02T01:43:00.001-08:00

I've been cataloguing ideas for the blog for a few weeks, but not writing anything because I knew that with my school/work schedule I would lose momentum. That being said, I wanted to throw a few links up here just because they were cool/interesting/scary...

My last paper is due December 17th and my hope/goal is to start posting with some regularity after that (of course, you've heard it before - but at these prices what more do you expect than empty promises and intermitant reading?)

The links:

Book Burning 2009

um....sure guys...

On Finding the Right Jesus

Thanks John Mark Reynolds for explaining why Creeds are good things. (Tip to the reader: "Hope" is his wife's name).

Is Christmas Pagan?

You mean I won't burn in hell for having a tree up? Awesome!

Enjoy Advent, Christmas, New Years and the rest.

Step Seven: Remember the 'omni' when considering God's presence

2009-09-25T21:10:00.000-07:00

The other day I had an awkward moment with the Lord. I had set aside a little time in my schedule to consider scripture, pray and journal and as I prayed I felt some discontentment. I asked the Lord what the deal was and all that came to mind was that I was in a comfy leather recliner, and I should really be on my knees. I often sense this when I pray in comfy leather recliners and this day I chose to respond. (Other times I just say "really!? you won't listen to my prayer if I'm in this chair!?" It's worth mentioning that this approach often ends poorly).

I got on my knees and put my face down on the floor with my hands folded, a pretty popular position when going for "prostrate but respectable." About 15 seconds in I realized my shirt was riding up my back and my crack was showing. This embarrassed me to the point that I had to adjust before I could continue praying. Please understand that I was in my own home, alone.

The thing that stood out immediately is how conscious I was of God's presence because I was specifically trying to interact with Him. About 10 seconds later I remembered that God is ALWAYS there, and I began to feel foolish for all the times when I act as if he isn't.

God says through the prophet Jeremiah "Am I a God at hand, says the Lord, and not a God afar off? Can a man hide himself in secret places so that I cannot see him? says the Lord. Do I not fill heaven and earth? says the Lord." (23:22-24) And Psalm 139 speaks of God being there wherever we go on the Earth and even outside of the Earth!

People act differently when they are in the presence of authority, just ask someone in the military how they respond when a superior officer enters the room. We also act differently when someone of a higher moral standard is around. I can't count the number of times someone has apologized and tried to curb their language after finding out that I work in ministry. (I understand the 'rising to the moral occasion' argument isn't 100% - I just want to point out that it happens). I don't think we should regard God as a cosmic big brother looking over our shoulder waiting for us to screw up - but it is worth remember that he's there. I think it can actually be encouraging, remembering that he's there to support and guide us and that he's not some far off Deity channel surfing through the lives of his creatures. So next time you pray, wear a belt - and next time you find your heart rebelling against God and the temptation to be a knucklehead gripping your imagination, try to remember that He's there with you - loving you, and wanting the best for you. Don't try to hide from his presence, embrace it and let the Spirit talk you off the ledge of sin.

Step Six: Dress the part

2009-08-10T20:09:00.000-07:00

Sorry for the tantalizing "back in the saddle" post followed by a fortnight of silence. (I, like Demetri Martin enjoy waiting two weeks before doing anything just so 'fortnight' will be appropriate.)

Lately I've been thinking about how to put my apologetics degree to good use. One of my ideas is to produce short (10-15 minute) podcasts aimed at college and high school students. The wisdom of this endeavor aside, it has caused me to try thinking up names for the show (to let you know how awful I am at things like this, the front runner right now is Short Answers for Short People). One of the (quickly) discarded names was "Rockstar Apologetics," which I tossed because I assumed the unwashed masses wouldn't be clever enough to know that I was being ironic. Part of the reason for this is that I look a bit rockstarish, or at least like I'm trying to look that way. I have tattoos and earrings and can sometimes be seen wearing hip clothes. Before dismissing the Rockstar name I had time to think "I would have to look more geeky for this to work."

It was this thought that stuck out in my mind. I immediately recalled a friend who is an actual rockstar and has sprinted to the other end of the spectrum lest anyone imagine that he too is trying. There is an entire hipster subculture which some have labeled the poorgeoisie, marked by gross beards and ugly old clothes that has sprung from seemingly similar circumstances; almost as if by trying to flee every other in-group a certain brand of hipsters have created their own.

The issue for Christians is this: we often fail to dress the part, and sometimes for similar reasons. While the Word tells us to put on the armor of God (Eph 6) and that all who have been Baptized into Christ have clothed themselves with Christ (Gal 3:27) we frequently find ourselves wearing worldly threads. Sometimes this manifests as fear in the face of judgment, an unwillingness to stand up for truth because we might be perceived as corny at best or hypocritical at worst. Other times we wear the worlds clothes because they seem to fit better. Like a pair of tight pants after the holidays our holiness doesn't suit us during the week if we're used to leaving it behind on Sundays.

As usual, there is no concrete application - no matter how hard we try we cannot make a law for ourselves that will grant either freedom or justification. Instead my aim is to remember the exhortations from the Word to put on God's armor and be clothed in Christ, praying that the Holy Spirit will speak louder than my flesh in times when I need to take a stand for something. Whatever you do, don't put yourself in the position of silencing the voice of the Spirit because you're afraid that someone will think (or say!) that you're a hypocrite. First, this insult opens the door for deep and meaningful conversation about sanctification and sin in the life of a believer and second, it is likely true. Follow God down the hard path, and for goodness sake try not to talk yourself into being cool by thinking "the world has seen so many dorky Christians, I just want to let people know they can be themselves" because they're probably all pretending too.

A hiatus

2009-07-19T23:35:00.000-07:00

Well, to all six of you I'd like to say "sorry for not posting since the election." I have been up and down spiritually and emotionally which when added to my academic and proffesional workload equals no posts. I recently spent two weeks at BIOLA for my final summer residency as I work towards the MA in Christian Apoligetics and I feel a newfound hope and interest in this blog. I hope you're still out there, especially you Matt, and I'll do what I can to make this more regular and worthwhile.

Step Five: Acknowledge Truth as Knowable

2008-11-19T06:58:00.000-08:00

This is something I've been doing well recently. However a friend asked me how to respond to people who don't believe in truth. I thought it would be fun to write a Socratic dialogue.

HEAUTAU: You know, there is no such thing as truth.

ALETHES: That's alarming, how sure of this are you?

HEAUTAU: It seems to be the only solution worth accepting, given the state of affairs in the world today.

ALETHES: So you would say that it's true?

HEAUTAU: Ha! That's a very clever response! Of course it's true for me, because I believe it to be true - but what I mean is that truth is relative to the hearer.

ALETHES: I see - so the saying "there is no truth" refers to the idea that truth changes depending on the hearer. I wonder, for which hearers is it not true that humans need water and food to live?

HEAUTAU: Alethes, your vision is nearsighted! I'm not referring to things that science has proven to be true. Of course everyone knows that people need water and food to live. It's things that we don't have access to that lie outside of the realm of knowable truth!

ALETHES: Good Heautau, thank you for explaining this to me. Would you agree that we do not have access to historical events?

HEAUTAU: Certainly, there can be no way to know what has happened.

ALETHES: Yet we live as if we are certain the records are true, in fact the United States of America is a nation separate from England. Slavery is no longer lawful here - woman's suffrage (their right to vote as citizens) is, these things have changed places in the last 150 years.

HEAUTAU: Well Alethes, you understand that we have many independent records of this. There are eyewitness accounts as well as the societal change that accompanied such momentous shifts in culture. We can know these things to be true, or at least be as certain about them as we are certain that we are not all just brains in vats being stimulated electronically. The truth I'm really referring to regards beliefs. Things that can't be proven by science, or recorded in history. Religious beliefs for example.

ALETHES: Heautau, would you agree that many religious beliefs are contradictory?

HEAUTAU: I would, and all are true for their hearers, but none is True with a capital T.

ALETHES: I think you overstep your bounds on this point Heautau. Examine the claims of the Hindu, the Atheist and the Christian. We will limit our investigation to what happens at death. In order, these groups believe in reincarnation, the end of consciousness and an eternal soul. Can you describe a way in which all three can be possible?

HEAUTAU: You have made a good point with your question Alethes. The problem for truth lies in our inability to know which one of these aligns with reality.

ALETHES: But you yourself have already given me the yardstick with which I can measure the claims!

HEAUTAU: When have I done this?

ALETHES: Earlier you mentioned that we can know things are true if they align with our experience or if they can be proven by experimentation. Then you said we can know history is true (or we can at least become reasonably certain) if there are multiple eyewitness accounts and/or a radical cultural shift accompanying some phenomenon.

HEAUTAU: Yes, I suppose we could apply these things to religious belief.

ALETHES: Well, the Christians claim that their worldview is explanatory for all people of all time. The history recorded in their Bible has been verified by outside sources many times over. The biggest question is their claim of the resurrection of Jesus - but this was accompanied by a cultural change unheard of before or since.

HEAUTAU: Your premises are sound, and your reasoning is logical - let us investigate the Bible on these grounds and determine if the Christians "truth" can really extend to all.

Step Four: Pray

2008-11-09T21:48:00.000-08:00

Know that I am probably the least qualified person to give this advice. Prayer to me feels obligatory most of the time. When a group bows to pray, I see heads go down and eyes close and it feels like everyone is checking into dream land. It seems subjective and I would rather hear from God through scripture. However, that just isn't the way a relationship with him works in the Bible.

I've experimented with different prayer formats over the years. Bowing, sitting, laying, out loud, in my head, written, sung. I've heard the youth group prayer talk (A.C.T.S.) and I've even read most of the book Too Busy Not to Pray. For a while earlier this year I set a goal of praying for at least ten minutes each day. Five as if I were in the throne room of God, worshipping at His feet, and five as if Jesus were in the room just to hang out with me. I find those different dynamics helpful - but even the ten minute goal proved too lofty for an amature such as myself.

Recently I read in Jesus Driven Ministry by Ajith Fernando that prayer isn't as rigid as a minutes per day discipline but at the same time cannot be avoided if one hopes to bear any fruit for the Kingdom. He likened it to staying connected to God. "Connecting" with God has never been a strong suit of mine - but I can always tell when I'm disconnected. I decided to try to become a more habitual and effectual pray-er and instead of trying to connect, I just asked God why I was so disconnected. If you are a prayer novice (or just feel like one) I recommend that you start there. If you do that however, you must be willing to obey God no matter how trivial or life-altering his response (which will definitely come). In my case God responded quickly and I sensed exactly what needed to be done if I wanted to stay in step with Him. I hope that this pattern which is weeks old at best grows into something around which the rest of my day is built.

Step Three: Don't give up easy

2008-09-21T21:03:00.000-07:00

I often find myself giving up on my goals after very little adversity. If I am trying to eat healthy and I order fries instead of green beans at a restaurant, I'm likely to go home and polish off the rest of the ice cream and maybe a few cookies before bed. If I am trying to avoid thinking about fantasy football and I sign on to check some stats, I'll spend 30 minutes reading articles online instead of just closing the browser. I am a man of extremes. I don't know if that stems from my personality type, genetic makeup, or human nature in general; but I experience peaks and valleys physically, emotionally and spiritually. (It's interesting how often those three intersect one another).

For the past few weeks I feel like I've given up spiritually. I went a day without reading the Bible, instead of just picking it up the next morning I went a few more. I tried to get in the habit of praying a few times a day for a certain length of time. Once I missed a day I gave up entirely. I kept waiting for some cool spiritual event to happen so I could have a worthwhile blog post because despite the fact that to my knowledge there are only 6 of you reading this, your opinions all happen to matter more to me than they should.

Tonight I realized my lack of tenacity after polishing off two bowls of party mix and heading to bed thinking about football once again. I looked at the clock and saw 11:56 and told God I would stop thinking about football in four minutes! What a jerk! Having made this ridiculous vow, I honored it at midnight and promptly realized how out of touch I am with Him. I started worrying about InterVarsity, my spiritual health and my physical health (I'm in the process of trying to train for a half-marathon, which will require me to lose at least 25 pounds). God revealed to me this tendency I have to want to be extreme and then bail out when I falter. On the surface, I know I'm not perfect and can't be and shouldn't aspire to be - this side of heaven. Still, something inside me breaks when I've gotten a "fresh start" in some area of life and I manage to screw it up. Thankfully I was reminded of the Apostle Peter, who called down curses on himself as he denied Jesus over and over - and who the Lord mercifully forgave and reinstated. Even after his fresh start it wasn't too long before Peter again was acting sinfully towards Gentile believers in the presence of Jews. I'm sure that Paul's rebuke in Galatians 2 helped Peter regain his footing. The life of Peter is encouraging to me, a reminder not to give up. The Lord is gracious and kind, to turn from Him after failure is to turn from the only one who can take away the sting and the shame. I hope to remember in the days and years to come that I'm not aiming at a spiritual mountaintop, but that I'm a broken man who needs to be repaired by grace through Christ. During my hospital stay on Earth while Jesus pieces together my jigsawed heart and soul I'm tempted to give up because I am frustrated and ashamed. It's vital for us to remember that the way to defeat our shame and be encouraged in the face of frustration is to never give up our pursuit of Jesus and His Kingdom.

Step Two: Dont compartmentalize your spiritual life

2008-09-05T11:28:00.000-07:00

This could also be stated “make your whole life spiritual.” I think this principle will hit closer to home for those of us in full time ministry, but there is certainly application for folks whose walk with God is limited to Sunday services and a quiet time here and there. What I’ve noticed in myself is a disturbing tendency to seek God when I am working: while I plan leadership meetings, think about students, prepare a talk or hang out on campus. I also think about God while I’m at church, or churchy things. Outside of that however there is an entire spectrum of time that seems to fall under the broad heading of “me-time”. During me-time I am the king, concerned first and foremost with the question “what do I want?”I usually end up playing a computer game, thinking about sports, playing guitar or doing some other activity designed to entertain me. Don’t get me wrong, none of these things are bad in themselves. The problem is that I get home from a day of work, or sit around on the weekend and these things are what take up my time and energy. I don’t want to be a person who “works” for God from 9 to 5 and then goes home and lives a “real” life filled with nothing but trivialities.

I recently read The Shack by William Young and I recommend you do the same. It’s not the best book ever but it can breathe fresh air into a stale relationship with God. During a conversation with the protagonist, God (who is one of the main characters of the book) says he doesn’t want to be first on a list. If you live your life by that principle (that God is first, then everything else) how can you know how much time is enough to spend on God before moving on to your next list item? Rather, God should be at the center of all things. As an experienced Christian I already knew this concept – but the idea of me-time betrays the fact that knowing a concept doesn’t make me a practitioner. To build my soul I’ve been trying to stop in my tracks when all I want to think about is fantasy football or music or movies and just think about a bible verse I’ve recently read; or ask the Lord to forgive me for being so unwilling to give up my mental escapes. So far it’s been exceedingly hard – to the point that I have to wrestle myself mentally just to put whatever it is I’m doing on the shelf and focus on Jesus. The results though, have been fantastic. I feel more spiritually aware, and I find my mind beginning to drift toward real things as opposed to the trivial. I hope you can challenge yourself to examine your thought life and ask whether your are loving the Lord with all your mind.

Step One*:Stop Lying

2008-08-19T22:43:00.000-07:00

*Instead of taking much time thinking of clever titles for each post I'm going to label them as steps, in keeping with the "build-it-yourself" theme. I don't think though, that there will be any significance to the sequencing. Step one will probably not be more important than or even logically precede step ten. "Why then, don't you just think of clever titles!?" the pragmatist yells. To which I have no response.

Step one: Stop lying.

Recently a good friend and I decided to take up reading Dostoevsky's The Brothers Karamazov. (I want the world to know that I spelled the book title correctly and only added one letter to the author's name without consulting any sources!). Eventually I'll devote an entire post to reading good novels, but for now I'll focus on the lesson I'm learning reading the present one. Early in the book several of the principle characters visit a very prestigious monk. This man is said to be able to look a person in the eye and know their sins. He gives this advice to the alcoholic, sex-addicted father of the brothers for whom the book is named:

The main thing is that you stop telling lies to yourself. The one who lies to himself and believes his own lies comes to a point where he can distinguish no truth either within himself or around him, and thus enters into a state of disrespect towards himself and others. Respecting no one, he loves no one, and to amuse and divert himself in the absence of love he gives himself up to his passions and to vulgar delights and becomes a complete animal in his vices, and all of it from perpetual lying to other people and himself.

I swept over the passage upon first reading, mulling it over for only a moment before following the action down the page. Later I realized just how pertinent those words are to my current task of soul building. The types of lies I tell myself surely set me off course every day. There are some lies about my activities: getting distracted during the workday with hobbies like sports or games isn't a big deal, looking at a woman on the road or at a restaurant for a second too long is only natural for guys and so on. These untruths help establish bad habits which eventually lead to the character traits of laziness and lust. I tell myself bigger lies as well, the kind that don't just set my day off course but can threaten to wreck my life: I'm not good enough to do well at anything, so don't put in too much effort. This distances me from the shame of failure. God can wait, other things are more urgent. This lie has led me deep into spiritual apathy. The line about giving oneself up to pleasures in the absence of love struck a resounding chord as I often find myself looking for a quick distraction.

The antidote to the lies is truth; already within me as a Christian in the form of the Holy Spirit. Often when I find myself looking untruth in the face, there is no question about which way is right. The Spirit lets me know immediately which path is narrow and leads to life. My rebellious desires spring up and I invent lies, or dust off old lies that Satan has turned into conventional wisdom. Then I combat the truth inside of me and silence it. As my soul gets stronger I hope to learn to identify these situations as they happen and, knowing the truth already, let the Spirit take over rather than drown Him out with justification. Another weapon against my self-made lies is bringing my thought life before God. Especially little day to day things. Having the courage to ask God when your mind whispers "how can THIS be a big deal?" will change you inside and out. Ultimately, I want to be a person who loves the truth; there isn't much chance to become one if I'm busy telling lies.

Prequel

2008-08-15T12:51:00.000-07:00

If you have read many of the works of C.S. Lewis, you might know that he believed one of the reasons for our existence on earth was to become more like Jesus, more real. We are to become what we were initially created for. To do this, we have to essentially grow souls that can handle proximity to a holy God. Soul-Building is also one facet of the Christian response to the problem of evil. In itself, Soul-Building is an unsatisfactory answer to the question "how can evil exist in the same reality as an all-powerful and all-benevolent God?" However, the idea that as human beings we are allowed to expose ourselves to the horror of sin and its effects in order that we might overcome it in eternity appeals to my intuition.

In Lewis' The Great Divorce he describes people becoming less and less able to inhabit the very physical and real place of heaven. We see their transformation in an instant, but the truth is that their souls were shaped over a lifetime of decision making. I've been searching my own soul lately and come up with a few sad observations. In general, I waste my time. I manage to get done the things that need getting done, but in a rushed and often haphazard way. Instead of focusing on excellence in work I find myself distracted by games, hobbies, news and anything else that seems more interesting than the task at hand. Worse than this realization is the fact that it doesn't destroy me. I am a campus minister by vocation, meaning my full-time job is doing ministry with college students. Every moment is important and I find ways to let them slip away. Knowing that I'm using my time poorly and not chasing after God ought to hurt me, but mostly I feel a vague sense of guilt. Lastly, (not that this is the last of my flaws, but it is the last one I will highlight for the purposes of this post) I'm the most selfish person I know. Not only do I rarely think of others, I rarely think of thinking of others. I can occasionally be romantic or courteous with my wife, but in general I find the solar system has rearranged itself around wherever I happen to be at the moment. Disgusting. So after spending a few months in a spiritual funk, awakening to the fact that I am lazy, apathetic and selfish and realizing that I don't want to repent, I've decided that I want to want to repent. I want to build a better soul. Theologically, I know that the REAL transaction will be God using the Holy Spirit to build a sturdy soul inside of me. I also know however, that my decisions play a huge role in the process; to the point that (I believe, for now anyways) I have the power do derail the entire thing, an option I don't want to consider.

To that end, I'm going to try to learn how to build a soul (or at least, how to invite God to build a soul inside of me). A short disclaimer: I know that I already have a soul, I'm not under the impression that my body is a hollow shell and I need to fill it with spirit. What I mean by building a soul is letting myself be transformed from a person who is rebellious into a person who desires the things of God without prompting. So, every time I find something helpful (or hurtful) in this process, I'll try to make a post. I hope first and foremost that this helps me, and if it does, there is a great chance it might help others as well.